Bad Motorcycle wreck with very injured leg and head. Older brother living with me, I was trying to help while he stole money from me for drugs and was very abusive at the same time. I had just come out of living in my car, I had been in Foster care and thrown into a boys ranch with juveniles who were troubled or killed someone etc. We were there for being beat and abused. It made no sense but that’s what welfare did to help. It was horrible, we ran away 2 times.
Before that I was at home until the age of 12. I left just before my 13 birthday, Welfare took me and the 7 away from Abuse. My mother I loved so much almost killed several of us. We were choked, beaten with belt buckles, had our close ripped off while being punched in the face. Butcher knifes at out throat, beaten, leaving belt marks drawing blood that were covered our whole body, legs, back, rear, neck, arms etc. I watch my younger siblings choked get beat, choked until they turn Blue in the face and then dropped on the floor… I thought they were dead many times..
You were nice after a while you started cutting me down some of te following;
My weight which was due from the Motorcycle wreck that almost took my leg.
My job at Jack-In-The-Box which was my first job at 16 years old. It was just a start for me not my life and it hurt because I was doing the best I could considering the injury to my leg and head and all the other crap from my past.
You also attacked me for not dealing with other co-workers while I was in charge yet you did a lot of the same stuff to me as well.
You didn’t like the cloths I wore
You slapped me twice over me trying to brake the ice and trying to humor you a little while taking you to school. I met no harm.
You attacked me for not talking with my mother who came up there often with some token to give me hoping to make up for all that she had done to me and the others. I tried to tell you but you would never listen. Did you know that I cried while begging my mother to forgive me for talking with police and welfare over the abuse. She never did. I loved her very much but the abuse led me to reach out to the Lord in prayer. I would look out the window at night at one Star that seemed brighter then the others and I would pray Lord Jesus please help me stop these beatings. Show me the way Lord, Use me to stop this mess and I will Lord, in your name I will expose and stop it.. I have been trying to help someone ever since. I wish I knew how to help me now.?
One night it was raining really hard my car left me stranded far from home. I called you for help and you told me I interrupted you from doing homework and hung up on me.
So, I yelled at you and broke up with you more then once and when you went to the prom with that other guy and then came to work bragging about his car and life style knowing I was standing around. You knew how I felt about you. I lost my temper and when you walked off from me more then once I grabbed you because I wanted to be heard. I felt bullied by you and hurt by the condensending put downs. I had also gone with out sleep for 2 days living on junk food.
One time I found you at the Laundry mat, you ask where I had been. For the first time in years I let someone talk me into going with them to Six Flags. When I told you, you said WELL, MUST BE NICE! Some of us have to get an education. Well that funny, your other sisters never went to college; hell two of them didn’t even finish high school. Donna, the one that did, wow! She was so smart and talented but after high school she married, had a child and stayed there for ever never doing anything with her life.
What a waist.
Your sisters were all academicly inclined yet you attacked me as though I should back in school doing it your way?
I was truly sorry for acting out on you. I really did love you. I was in a lot of pain of you for years. I just wanted another chance to show you how much I truly loved you !! You married someone else. So be it.. I know it’s over but I just wanted you to know that I have a hard time loving you because of the pretentious, opportunistic, self-righteous and abusive as I feel you treated me..
I wish I had never known you, never got intimate with you. I still remember the Love making we shared. You were my first love.
I’m very interested in learning many things but school is just not one of them. I guess I feel restless inside. I have dated many women but I just haven’t found someone I could keep an interest in.. So hold your grudge at me all you want. I loved you for many years after that and you how many times I tried to let you know how much I care. The flowers, the cards, the letters. I brayed and begged God to help me find the words when ever I found you..
I found another She was so much more of a person then you ever were to me however; Just as I was started to fall deeply in love with her, she came down with cancer. I lost her on a Xmas day some time ago, I have pets now. I don’t believe I can ever date again. Too much pain! I am on meds to keep me numbed up, the pets are like children to me.
I just wanted you to know how much I loved you. I don’t think you ever cared but then I remember the soup you brought me and I remember the Lori I thought I knew and for a moment I fall in love with you for a while… I hurt so bad inside over you Lori.
I also remember some of the songs played while we together.
Peaches & Herb – Reunited , Journey – Patiently , Radio - Jack & Jill ,
Barbra Streisand – Answer Me and On Rainy Afternoon Etc.
Barry Manilow - If I Should Love Again & I Just Want To Be The One In Your Life , Autumn days
Baby's Wrong , Right, Head First , Everytime I Think Of You
Movies - Somewhere In Time , Splender In The Grass , Endless Love , Star Is Born
PRETTY SIMPLE LOOKING FOR A NSA HOT SEXUAL TIME WITH ANOTHER FEMALE!!!
PLEASE PUT THIS WORD IN THE SUBJECT LINE TO MAKE SURE YOURE REAL " PANTHERS "
IF YOU ARE LOOKING TO MEET UP WITH A GUY YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW THEN LETS MEET UP. I AM LOOKING TO PLAY ON THE FIRST MEETING AND REALLY ITS UP TO YOU AFTER THAT IF YOU WANT TO MEET AGAIN OR NOT. I CANNOT HOST SO IT WOULD HAVE TO BE EITHER AT YOUR PLACE OR AT A DESCREET LOCATION SOMEWHERE PRIVATE BUT THEN A LITTLE PUBLIC. OUTTA SIGHT OUTTA MIND RIGHT??? YES THIS IS ABOUT SEXUAL PLEASURE FOR BOTH SO COME ON YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.
IF THE SMALL TOWN HAS YOU SCARED DONT WORRY I BEEN HERE ALL MY LIFE AND YOU DONT HAVE TO USE YOURE REAL NAME IF YOU DONT WANT TO.
ALL WOMEN ARE ACCEPTED JUST BE REAL AND HONEST IN WHAT YOU WANT. MARRIED OR SINGLE, ALL AGES AND SIZES, ITS ONLY NUMBERS AFTER ALL
A LITTLE ABOUT ME:
MWM 37
STR8
DDF
5'11 ABOUT 220
7.5"LONG 5.5"THICK AND SHAED FOR YOUR PLEASURE
Maybe it's just me being weak and pathetic, but you can always call, write, email, text... or simply show up at church on Sunday and surprise me. I only know that you married Charles & you moved (probably to be closer to your mom and dad so they can see their grand-child) and the last I knew you worked selling cell phones. Other than that, I know very little. I hope and pray that someday we'll become friends again.
I'll not leave anymore details since I did enough back then,
just know, I wish I'd just kept my mouth shut.
I always wondered if you ever married had kids. Wanted
to ask you that day at the gas station but figured limiting it
to not much more than hi was probably enough.
You've shown your true colors without saying a word.
It's okay, I hear you and your ex are still texting like mad,
AND you're borderline abusive. AND your little drinking problem
is becoming an issue.
But you can't OR won't even acknowledge me?
Whatever- your loss-and by the way-
look out for the other jerk that'll be slippin in to your
den while youre doing your 3-11 or 3- whenever shift.
It would have benefitted you to know a few things,
but guess what. You "flipped on a light" so to speak
and now I can see that you don't deserve to know.
I might be out of line in my position, but it's nothing
compared to the crap you're being dealt behind your
back from someone else.
At least I can let it go now, and you can figure it out on
your own.
jerk!
MmmmMmmm that felt good. let me say it one more time:
J E R K
youtube.com/ watch?v=0Vyj1C8ogtE
paste it then take the space out btwn the / and the rest.
just think of that song when he's hanging out with you guys. Too bad you're name isn't scotty
or it would be perfect.
The hands of time tic on and on,
Did the feelings exist, and have they gone?
A love for me I wish you'd feel,
but the way it is in my head-
just isn't real.
It's a fantasy written in books,
the content reveals the cover is not
as it looks.
So I tempt fate and tear the page,
the one where truth takes center stage.
It's a re-write in my mind,
The path you take, from the one you left
behind.
And the characters will start to fade,
never existing- never made.
I'll build myself again,
starting this time from within.
Those jagged words written in pain,
are erasing a memory all in vain.
So hard to quit, so hard to breathe,
washing away all that you need.
Your heart is stone and your mind
goes numb,
All for love you would succumb,
to the torture and fire,
the rythm beats to it's own desire.
one of poisoned and twisted thought,
singing "you'd give up all you've got."
Some get dealt the spoon,
I always draw the knife.
So it goes, the
story of my life.
Though no need asking for mercy to come knocking at my door.
You can't make a heart feel-and I can't
hold on Anymore....
So several years later, tail end of another relationship for me, and there you are again. Is it fate or is the universe really screwing with me? And unfortunately you got to be privy to a really messed up time in my life where everyone around me was falling apart and expecting me to make it all better and which time included the deaths of two people I loved very much. I'm not going to apologize again for all that because I already have and I'm sure you are sick of me saying it or just don't give a shit?? The great news is is that I am now past all of that and sane again...yeah! Even working on losing more weight and giving up some of my vices.
Alright, so how do I bring this entire diatribe to an end. I'm hoping that by putting this out there it takes it off the brain for a while (forever is asking too much). I'm hoping that I can make it through one day WITHOUT thinking about you. I hope that the next time I see your face, cause no doubt there will be a next time, that it has absolutely no effect on me.
Ricky Van Shelton
I’ll Leave This World Loving You
Walk away
Leave with my blessings
Once in a while let me hear from you
If we never meet again before my life is over
I’ll leave this world loving you.
You can take everything but my memories
For they’re good ones
and they’ll see me through
If we never meet again I’ll love you forever
I’ll leave this world loving you.
You were mine for a time
And I’m thankful
Oh, but life will be so lonesome without you
If we never meet again this side of heaven
I’ll leave this world loving you.